I've actually done the same thing- take video of self, cringe, never record again.
However, I've been trying to figure out ways of getting myself to do it again. I'd like to increase my skill in dancing and movement, I'd like to be less self-conscious when in front of a video camera (or in front of other people) and I know that it's a fantastic way of learning more about what you're doing on the pole... especially when you don't have mirrors up, like me.
I think that it's sort of written into our general society that we judge ourselves very harshly. We see so many photoshopped "humans" in our media that we no longer understand that humans don't look like that! And yet, when we watch other people, we don't see what we see in ourselves- we don't see the cellulite, the wonky hand movement, that slight hesitation before getting into a basic invert.
I also think it's because we spend so much time with ourselves, and we internalize so much negativity, that we analyze ourselves in a bad way. Our judgment of other people seems to be magnified when it is turned upon our own selves, until all we can see is stuff that no one else even knows about!
Good experiment: If you've never pointed it out before, ask your boyfriend if he thinks you have cellulite. Mine didn't notice that, OR the stretch marks, which I think I have a lot of.
You could also try another good experiment! Go and look at yourself in the mirror before a shower, and see if you can find things you LIKE about what you look like! I've been doing this for more than a month, and really seeing improvement.
Eventually those pole videos are going to look like awesome. :)
