I have a question for everyone.....

solsticedark started this discussion · 4/20/2010

Ok, first off i would like to say, this is not directed at any of you because, well I am new to the site and really do not know any of you yet. But I would like to pose a question to everyone, because I have encountered this before, and am curious on your thoughts. Do you/would you judge another pole dancer on the fact that she is also an exotic dancer for a living? Do you see her as less of a dancer then yourself because she dances, not only for herself and because she enjoys it but also to pay the bills?

71 replies

Dayanara · 4/20/2010
To be honest, I actually get excited when I meet one and I try to get her to show me floor work and dance moves, of course if they can actually do tricks that's awesome and I know a couple that DO work the pole, not just the grind and hump, I dont know, I guess I just really dont care what people do for a living that much, I just see it as an opportunity to learn from them as performers, they have that "in public" experience and flow and I'd like to learn more. 🙂
Veena · 4/20/2010
First I don't think its my place to judge anyone. Second. I love going to strip clubs and I think that exotic work is a real job! We have a good number of ladies on this site who work or have worked, in the exotic world and they are always welcomed. ☀️ I see any pole work or performing as legitimate, doesn't matter if there fully clothed or in their birthday suite. 💣
chemgoddess1 · 4/20/2010
I know quite a few personally so it is not really an issue for me. I think if a woman is strong enough to strip and not come out messed up then more power to her. I have heard some horror stories though, too. I think the ones who are able to make a living out of it have skills way beyond my imagination (and inner strength). I will note though that the ones I do know do not do big tricks....a few simple things to grab attention and the rest is oozing sexuality.
horsecrazy12987 · 4/20/2010
Nope. Actually, if I had a pole buddy who was also an exotic dancer, like Dayanara, I'd be bugging her constantly for some floor work tips. I do striptease pretty often when I pole, either for my boyfriend or just for myself, so it's not like I think the two should be kept separate or anything. (But if you want to separate them and just concentrate on the artistic side of pole, that's great too. It can be about the gymnastics, or it can be about sensual dance, or a combo of the two, and that's what I love about it.) It actually kind of irritates me when I see people in the pole dancing industry copping this snotty attitude toward dancers (I haven't seen that here, though, and I'd be surprised if I did, as I think a couple of the girls dance,) because hello?! Where do you think we got it from in the first place? Strippers are the ones who brought us this art--why should we snub them? Anyway, I don't think you'll have any problems fitting in here. From what I've seen most, if not pretty much all of the regular posters don't have a problem with dancers.
solsticedark · 4/20/2010
Wow thank you all for your responses! It is great to hear that you all really are non judgmental 😀 *feels all warm and fuzzy now*. It actually kind of irritates me when I see people in the pole dancing industry copping this snotty attitude toward dancers (I haven't seen that here, though, and I'd be surprised if I did, as I think a couple of the girls dance,) because hello?! Where do you think we got it from in the first place? Strippers are the ones who brought us this art--why should we snub them? This just made my day! Thank you!!! To me I really do not understand why some choose to judge exotic dances. The whole reason I bought this up today was one, I really wanted to know if I was safe talking about it. (I practice mostly at the club I dance at, and it is also where I met my husband (He was the DJ I was the dancer 😂 ) But another "pole dancer" came into the club last night and proceeded to try and humiliate me in my own club. Granted I put her in her place when I got on stage and busted out with some of my best tricks and then told her to step up or shut up, but it still really aggravated me. I hate nothing more then when a fellow pole dancer comes into the club with her man, or a male friend and just snubs me. Sadly, it happens more then it should. Yes I dance on a stage, and dance in nothing but a thong at work. That does not make me any less skilled. In a way I have found that dancing topless has actually helped with precision when it comes to poling. (There is nothing worse then getting pole burn on your girls). Honestly, I think dancing in front of a crowd night after night has really helped me as a pole dancer because it helps me gauge what works and what doesn't. (Not to mention most clubs have more then a pole to dance on, so I have learned some other acrobatic things as well.) The club I work at now actually has an I beam on the second stage that I have recently figured out how to do the splits on and I can swing from it. Another club had a stationary trapeze bar that with my husbands help, I was able to do cordovas on among other tricks. I will note though that the ones I do know do not do big tricks....a few simple things to grab attention and the rest is oozing sexuality. My husband puts it best. There are three types of exotic dancers. Dances, Entertainers, and Show Girls. Dancers are anyone that is new to dancing (think their first month). Entertainers are like the girls you are talking about, and many times they will not do any ticks, or like you said a few. Show girls are the ones that rock the stage, doing lots of tricks, movement and just in general really put on a show.
SissyBuns · 4/20/2010
Not at all.
amcut · 4/20/2010
Floorwork video time meow!
MissHoneyrider · 4/20/2010
I'm always happy to see another "Entertainer"join SV! 🥂 There is so much support here.You'll love it!!!
Solya · 4/20/2010
God no. The only thing that interests me is whether someone is a talented poler and inspires me or not 🙂 I think it's everyone's personal business what they do for a living and I frankly don't think being an exotic dancer needs to be snubbed and called indecent. Working in the adult entertainment industry (only as a dancer/entertainer) probably requires more brains and sophistication than working at the till in a supermarket - something people don't care about just because they are ignorant beyond belief. I'd love to learn from professional dancers, I bet you have much more experience of keeping your audience entertained! Do post some vids soon 🌸
horsecrazy12987 · 4/21/2010
To me I really do not understand why some choose to judge exotic dances. The whole reason I bought this up today was one, I really wanted to know if I was safe talking about it. (I practice mostly at the club I dance at, and it is also where I met my husband (He was the DJ I was the dancer 😂 ) But another "pole dancer" came into the club last night and proceeded to try and humiliate me in my own club. Granted I put her in her place when I got on stage and busted out with some of my best tricks and then told her to step up or shut up, but it still really aggravated me. I hate nothing more then when a fellow pole dancer comes into the club with her man, or a male friend and just snubs me. Sadly, it happens more then it should. Yes I dance on a stage, and dance in nothing but a thong at work. That does not make me any less skilled. In a way I have found that dancing topless has actually helped with precision when it comes to poling. (There is nothing worse then getting pole burn on your girls). Honestly, I think dancing in front of a crowd night after night has really helped me as a pole dancer because it helps me gauge what works and what doesn't. (Not to mention most clubs have more then a pole to dance on, so I have learned some other acrobatic things as well.) The club I work at now actually has an I beam on the second stage that I have recently figured out how to do the splits on and I can swing from it. Another club had a stationary trapeze bar that with my husbands help, I was able to do cordovas on among other tricks. Re: pole burn on the girls: yikes!! 😂 I didn't even think about that--I strip down topless for my boyfriend when I dance for him, and that honestly just hasn't occured to me. I'll make sure to keep a close eye on the ladies next time and make sure I'm not endangering them. 😂 I haven't been subjected to it personally since I'm not a stripper, but there does seem to be a certain contempt from some pole dancers toward strippers. Like I said, I don't know why because the art of pole dancing came straight from the gentleman's clubs, so if you have a love for pole dance, why would you basically dump all over its history? It wasn't a couple of housewives that got together while their kids were playing on the playground and went 'Hmmm, you know, it would be really cool if we hung upside down by just our legs from one of these poles. While taking off our shirts.' I've never been into a strip club before, but would be interested in going some time to maybe pick up some ideas--unfortunately I'm at least an hour and a half away from the nearest one, so it's not just a quick trip after work for me. But if I ever finally get the opportunity to visit one, there is no way in hell I would go in there trying to show up the dancers. That's just idiotic. In the club, they are the dancer and I'm just another customer. I might be different in a certain respect because I have this odd fascination with strippers, though. I don't know why--maybe it's just that I've always done office work and cannot imagine doing the stuff I do at home half-naked in front of a roomful of strangers and getting paid for it. 😂 Anyway, being a dancer, I don't have to tell you there's a certain stigma attached to stripping, and just because someone is a pole dancer does not automatically exclude them from the masses of people who are judgemental about it. They separate stripping from pole dancing because they enjoy dancing, but don't want to be labeled a stripper because people make a lot of unjust assumptions about strippers. They are morally bankrupt, sleazy, drugged-up, etc. in a lot of people's minds. I think they just can't fathom that there are actually some perfectly normal, well-adjusted people out there who just happen to take their clothes off for money. There are plenty of people who aren't strippers who are morally bankrupt, sleazy, drugged-up etc. etc.--are they better simply because they don't wear a thong to work? Some people would say yes. It's just the kind of crap you will always have to put up with as long as you dance, from all walks of life, and that will probably always include some people who do the same thing in the privacy of their own home. And I agree with the floor work vids!! Get 'em up pronto, woman.
MommaBear · 4/21/2010
I don't automatically think exotic dancers are "bad", but I would say that my initial views of the profession are guarded and cautious. I think that a majority of the girls that work in that industry quickly lose sight of what they are they for and fall into the drinking and drugging rut, which is where my distaste stems from. Being that dancing is an ideal and lucrative job for a single mother, I often see children suffer out of this situation as well, which furthers my disdain to remarkable degrees of hatred - I hate seeing innocent children suffer because of stupidity. 😈 When I initially ran across "chemgodess" on this site, my internal red flag went up - until I realized that her name stems from the fact that she is actually a CHEMIST and not a lover of chemicals 😂 😳 I think I tend to be a much more guarded and judgmental person than most. I think it is because I kick into mommy mode and my overly protective mommy brain goes berserk. If you use drugs, don't do anything else with your life but live at the club and don't take care of your kids - I would still be nice to you, but I wouldn't ever truly bring someone like that into my life. As long as you are taking care of your children, taking care of yourself and keeping your priorities straight, your good in my book (but still under a watchful motherly eye cause it scares me). 🧿 Side note to self: settle down with the smilies 🤸
verucablue · 4/21/2010
Nope - never...I need new moves ❗ ❗ ❗ ...bring on the strippers - but I would probably bug them to death..."how do you do this - how do you *pop* that" they would be so over me. I have a close friend who is an ex stripper and she is just fine, she has her masters degree in animation and is teaching at a great University. But really people are people - there are good people who are strippers and bad people who are strippers. There are drug addicts who are strippers and drug addicts who are lawyers...there are strippers who are great Mom's and stay at home Mom's that are bad Mom's. One's job or job uniform (or lack there of )has nothing to do with one's self worth/personality or morals...if I judged people on that stuff those Hot Dog On A Stick girls at the mall would be in trouble 😀
moonflower · 4/21/2010
4 words: I love this community!
Castleoutsider · 4/21/2010
most that teach HAVE been or still do dance =) and i have no problem tradin skills =D i wanna learn that hot floorwork imo~~
AliiraAB · 4/21/2010
Personally, I don't let hubby go to strip clubs, due to my own massive insecurity, but he understands. However I have NOTHING against the dancers. I don't see why anyone would. They're just trying to pay their bills like everyone else, and it seems to me that anyone at a strip club is there of their own free will. 🙂 Women getting mad at or disaproving of exotic dancers is simply misplaced emotions, nothing more. As I said before I don't like hubby going to strip clubs, (I think I might not mind as much as soon as my pole gets here though.) out of my own insecurity. I've talked to him about this he understands and thinks it's fair. Though I AM working on my own confidence.
loopielou · 4/21/2010
I just wish I had the bottle. I don't even have the guts to strip in front of my husband never mind a room full of people so all credit to dancers and strippers, particularly those who work the pole 😀
polergirl · 4/21/2010
I'm a semi-regular at some of the clubs around here and have found the dancers to be intelligent, fun women. They're not junkies or drunks--most of them are just regular women who are making a living, the same as me. If I were younger (and hotter, lol), I'd be in for it, though I'm not sure I have the personality for it--you have to be part psychoanalyst!! It's amazing. Dancer, stripper, whatever...all I care is that you probably have all sorts of great experience to share with us, and that's an EPIC WIN. 🥂 Welcome!! And yes, vids are most welcome. 🙂
chemgoddess1 · 4/21/2010
Couple of comments on several posts. I think the contempt for strippers may be a little misunderstanding. I think there is more contempt that people call us strippers because we pole. There is a really good example of that going against Alena Downs right now. I know she is not on this forum and many may not like her but she is one who I think has pushed this sport to the forefront and the crap she deals with on a regular basis is just jaw dropping. Momma....too funny. The Chemgoddess nickname was given to me in college and I am #1....yes there is a #2. Polergirl...there are a lot more upscale clubs in Columbus than here in Cleveland. There is a section of town close to where Momma lives that they have been trying to clean up for years that has some of the nastiest clubs and sex stores that you could imagine. Unfortunately it very easy for girls that work in some of these clubs to cross the line into drugs and prostitution (at one point in time they were even pushed....not sure if that is true any more). And in the nicer clubs it seems to be more about the perfect bodies and large chests and those girls that don't have those looks have a hard time of it and it can really play on your ego. There is a whole different mind set for those that can and do work in the clubs. I am not sure I could do it myself just because I have heard of wandering hands and nasty guys coming in. I don't think my acting skills are all that great! Like I also said before, I give HUGE props to the girls that can make a living out of it. It is not an easy job. There was a great interview that I read over 15 years ago in a magazine that really opened my eyes to the life. If any of you are ever curious also there is a great forum on stripperweb.
MommaBear · 4/21/2010
Chem, you bring up a good point, and one that I had pondered after posting. I was worried I may have stuck my foot in my mouth, as every one else seems far more positive on exotic dancers. I have been thinking as to why my views may differ so greatly. I wonder if location plays a role in my opinion? Is the negative connotation that is attached to the professional more easily proven here than elsewhere? What part does location play into the dancing profession? I know that Cleveland has made its debut on all kinds of lists - "Worst Cities To Live In" and "The Most Miserable City" etc. - I think it would be fair to say that in a city full of misery, you would be hard-pressed to find a flourishing, healthy environment for true "professional" dancers. Would it be fair to say that our location is not one where the number of true "professionals" is high? But more likely, a high number of girls in the business are likely working to sustain a drug habit? I do believe that here in the Cleveland area, dancing is far less likely to be seen in a positive light, whereas the standards of the professional may differ in other locations? Thing that make you go "Hmmmmm?"
chemgoddess1 · 4/21/2010
I think you are spot on. There are a few "better" clubs that have come into the area, mainly the flats, but once you get into the outskirts of downtown it is kinda scary. I think the only place I know of that bucks that trend is Crazy Horse Bedford, but it is part of a chain and lately that place has been DEAD.
amy · 4/21/2010
for every establishment that treats the dancers well, and pays well, there is another that doesn't, and the difference in the two environments are night and day. i did a paper in one of my master's classes (for psychology) about the transition that many dancers go through-- from feeling empowered for being in a position to give and take from a client, to aligning their self worth and confidence with how much they happen to earn in a night. there's a lot of things that happen at clubs that are just so damaging and unhealthy... not saying that being a stripper means you are messed up emotionally, but it's just such a tough industry to be in. i've tried to get all of my stripping friends out of the business, because i just don't think it's a healthy one to be in long term and i've seen how it can affect people... but i dont judge someone for how they choose to support themselves, as long as it's not hurting anyone else.
chemgoddess1 · 4/21/2010
Amy...I would love to read that paper some time if you have an electronic copy of it.
minicoopergrl · 4/21/2010
for me, I give the more credit. I couldnt be up there taking it all off infront of men. If I did an amteur night, id keep the privates covered. Ive always talked about opening a club where the dancers were all plus sized (I came up w/the name of Queen as the club). From the guys ive talked to they would be interested. But the mainstream society would not let me up on stage, I dont think id make any $. Ive never judged a stripper (i know girls who are, and some who are former), the ones that bother me are the ones that you know are high/drunk etc. Some girls really make it a good time to be there. Thier job is to charm you and to keep your money flowing and coming back for more. I do talk to alot of them about me poling and they ask what my YT is. To me its a 2way street when it comes to learning. I get ideas from them and they possibly learn from me. I will go w/or w/o my husband. We typically go to the same one b/c we used to know a bouncer there so we didnt have pay a cover. Plus the girl I learn the pointe shoe idea from works there. Shes a sweet gal and just has fun while doing it. That is her part time job. Some of the dancer love that you treat them like a human instead of a piece of meat.
Mindy4pole · 4/22/2010
In a way I have found that dancing topless has actually helped with precision when it comes to poling. (There is nothing worse then getting pole burn on your girls). SOOO -- what is the secret to protecting them?? I have a tendency to lose my clothes when I'm dancing and into the music, but after several times of OUCH! I won't do topless. Somehow I've caught my nipple in between my hand and the pole when inverting. Then you have the choice -- let go and fall on your head, or slide down in pain. 😲 That's a pretty big deterrent! I haven't been subjected to it personally since I'm not a stripper, but there does seem to be a certain contempt from some pole dancers toward strippers. Like I said, I don't know why because the art of pole dancing came straight from the gentleman's clubs, so if you have a love for pole dance, why would you basically dump all over its history? It wasn't a couple of housewives that got together while their kids were playing on the playground and went 'Hmmm, you know, it would be really cool if we hung upside down by just our legs from one of these poles. While taking off our shirts.' LOL -- I was out at a park a few weekends ago w/ my hubby and two year old (yes, I'm a housewife). While he was pushing her on the swings, I couldn't help but invert onto a piece of play equipment and hang by my knees. I had to keep my hands on my belly to keep my shirt from coming off!! 😂 We might not have done that first, but we're doing it now!!! 😛 Folks are folks, like other posters have said. There's ones you like and ones you don't in every situation. The side of stripping that bothers me is the sales. It is so easy to lose your self in a sales job - especially when you are explicitly selling your time. Everything becomes about getting the money, and ethics get, uh, revised as you go. NOTE: This is nothing unique to stripping. Mindy
Veena · 4/22/2010
Doing a full nude amateur night was one of the most empowering thing I have ever done!! Loved it....my only regret was that I didn't know how to pole use a pole at the time! 😂 Females are powerful, with or without clothes. hehe. I loved the performance on stage, but it wouldn't work for me as a job. I'm mentally worn out at the end of a day dealing with the head games you have to play with kids, (like how to get them to eat their food)...to go to work and have conversions with men...ehh, not me. Now give me a stage were I can be in my own world, and be a tease, that's my thing. 😉 I'm always impressed with the girls at the clubs who can sit down and start up a conversation, they know how to get you to fork over the money, now that is a talent all in it own! Seems to me that working in a club not only requires stage skills but people skills as well. 🙊 🙊

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