How do we...?

angelx33 started this discussion · 3/27/2009

how do we convince people around us that pole dancing can be used for fitness and exercise and to simply tone out the body and get a great workout? i mean people are so close minded these days. i don't mean parents. parents are parents and will always be parents and that's just normal.. i did convince my mother. actually no convincing was involved she was just okay with it for some ODD reason cause i thought she wouldnt be.. but i still have to hide it from my 21 yr old bro and my dad. /: meaning i put my pole up and bring it back down everyday i wanna exercise, which makes the experience a little irritating ] but what about people in our generation? i don't know about where anybody else lives.. but its pretty much like this where i do. don't you hate how there is that stereotype everywhere : if you pole dance, your a stripper. ugh it makes me so madd!!! 😠 it makes me feel like slapping some sense into these . sometimes i don't even want to tell people that i pole dance and share my knowledge about what a beautiful art it is because i just simply don't wanna deal with having to hear about all that stripper talk and the nonsense.. it sucks 😢 .. but we bring the art to it! am i right or am i right? lmao ::sigh:: EDIT -__________- how lame. i go to check my post and i see another person that posted the same issue bout parents right under me -_- *forehead palm*

17 replies

Fleur · 3/27/2009
You certainly do sound frustrated! I'll tell you one way to convince people that it is a legitimate workout: YOUR OWN BODY! The change in my muscle tone and strength is absolutely undeniable and no one who sees it can say that pole dancing is an incredible workout to have produced that change in my body! Pole dancing DID originate in strip clubs so I don't think it's fair to say that strippers shouldn't be credited for it but not all pole dancers are strippers and that is the stereotype you're fighting. Luckily for me, I live in California where people are very open minded but it's going to take more time elsewhere for this to be accepted as a sport/art. Ok, I really need to go study for my chem final now... Fleur
ducky · 3/27/2009
Angelx33, you commented on how you "need to hide" pole dancing from your brother and father........more than likely they don't want to view you as a attractive sexual being because it would make them feel weird. A good reason why girls who work in clubs aren't extremely great at the pole is because they're new at it, we all need to start somewhere, and if they could do better at their dancing they probably would. Even floor work requires an effort otherwise we'll tear our knees up.
Foxy_Rei · 3/27/2009
😀
Veena · 3/27/2009
It makes me sad when ladies are embarrassed to tell friends and family about their new sport. In the neighborhood where I live I get mixed reactions about my pole dance oh... and the purple hair 🙄 Even my family members question my desire to pole dance....I'm sure they all think I'm secretly a dancer in a club. lol Here's how I look at it....No other form of exercise has gotten me into better shape and has been soooo much fun!! I should know I've been a certified trainer for 8 yrs and have been working out longer. I make sure to tell people that too. I want them to know its not the first form of exercise I've tried! I figure if people think I'm a "stripper" well so what? Let them think that...I wouldn't be ashamed. The best thing I can do is be the best person I can be, friends and family will see that my kids are VERY well behaved, my husband and I have a great relationship and I"m in fab shape and a great mood!! The Latin dances we let our children perform started out as sexual street dances 😲 Grinding, hip wiggling and shoulder shimming. Things can be as evil 😈 or as innocent 🌸 as WE make them out to be.....hey the media does it to us all the time!! I like to have videos bookmarked to show people examples...All my youtube vids can be seen on a phone so please feel free to use them as an example...I show people all the time. I pick the ones that show strength and beauty. People are usually look at me after a video like WOW 😲 you must be crazy strong...and brave 💪 hehe. The longer we pole dancers try to keep our dancing a secret the longer it will take for others to accept it.
angelx33 · 3/27/2009
Oh! thanks for all the response and ideas and advice! but the thing is, i am middle eastern. and something like this is VERY forbidden from where i come from ::sigh:: 🙄 they are small minded enough to not even hear you out after you tell them those three words" i pole dance!" they will just block out everything you have to say about it and proceed to go with their small minded bs -_- thus making it hard for me to tell my dad and my brother ]i just dont think that it would be a good gamble for me to upset my dad and have a bad relationship with him over pole dancing, specially since i cant move out on my own right now. i am NOWHERE near ready! i m not ashamed of what i do. not at all! not one bit! i love pole dancing. it makes me feel great and i love the workout. i was brave enough to tell my boyfriend about it and thankfully he didn't perceive it as a bad thing .. although he did have to think bout it quite some time -_- and he does tease me about it every now and then but its just for laughs and nothing more. but i dont avoid telling people that i pole dance because im ashamed. but because im so irritated of all that "stripper" talk! god damn what do we have to do to get some respect around here??????? at least without having to explain ourselves 😢 anyway. thankss for all the responses guys! you all rock 🥂
Veena · 3/28/2009
Awww you should have told us that's why your family would be opposed to pole dance!! I don't think you'll be changing their minds. Just know that we are all here for you. *hugs*
Rouge_LAmour · 3/29/2009
Why don't you call it Pole fitness and talk about it's history from the Chinese Bamboo pole dancers perspective or Cirque Du Soleil. Felix who won Miss PD Australia 08 (or 07?) is now dancing for them as an acrobat, I think she's doing Tissu? Anyway, Cirque du soleil is considered a beautiful art form and this may help. If you take it as an acrobatic form of dance rather than the sexy version, it may help your parents. I don't know how strict your mother is, however, some moves can be performed while wearing long dresses and a hajib won't impede (if your mother is veiled). Therefore, you could give her a couple of lessons on the easier moves so she can understand how much of a sport it is. I'm guessing your family isn't majorly strict, otherwise your mother would be having kittens about your choice of sport. Apologies if I've got your family wrong, however, due to what you've said, I've hazarded a couple of guesses. I you do need to explain yourself, show them Chinese Bamboo pole, Modern Circuses and these links we have on our studios facebook group which may help your family understand what you are doing. http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=51597442622&h=g_1W9&u=Qtdv- http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=47472929215&h=ryR59&u=98mjC and especially this one: http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=47392654283&h=IQsI2&u=KgHy1 It's beautiful and it confronts the thoughts that Pole is about wearing sweet FA and being a tart. I really hope these help, as none of them are sexualised and show the beauty and grace of the sport. I think the thing to remember too, is that some women have an athletic dance style, some very sexy, I opt for grace and control of moves over athleticism and overt in your face stuff.
angelx33 · 3/29/2009
thanks veena. you guys are the best i swear you all are the best to ask for advice. and Rouge, were not Muslims. were Christians. and its not even about the like conservativeness. i can wear whatever i want and stay out as long as i want. were verry forward middle easterners haha. except in that poling area. my mom is actually cool with me pole dancing, as i mentioned before. and to tell you the truth i have no idea how my bro and dad would take it, but its just not a risk that im willing to take, not right now at least. it just wouldnt benefit me. they're both very laid back and chilled out not uptight at all. but those videos are great! if i do rack up the nerves to tell them, ill be sure to use those. thanks for all the help guys. you all rock ! 🥂
pole-twista · 3/29/2009
for the public in general it depends on my mood if i am in a good mood, i will probably take the time to try and explain if not so good mood will basically tell people i am not here to educate you on the reality of pole if you want to know the truth, do some research... otherwise stay closed minded and out of my face 😮 😈 i am a grown woman and i dont feel the need to explain to anyone why i pole but if you have to know?... because i can thats my answer. when you start paying my bills i will start to care what you think ( dont mind me i am already all fired up bc of frustation w not being able to post) theres a diffrence between people who are unaware of the other side of pole dancing and its benefits and would welcome the chance to learn more 📚 and those who have their minds made up and don't even want to hear anything diffrent 🧿 for the ones who want to learn i am more than happy to talk about it for the others as i said stay out of my face/earshot on a good day i will laugh off the ignorance and think how the persons missing out on such an incredible thing and thats punishment enough for them .. on a bad day we may exchange words 😈 either way i will pole as long as i am phsyically capable regardless of what ANYone says/thinks 😎 👸 👸 👸 GO INDEPENDENT WOMEN EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥂 ☀️ 🌸
Former member · 3/29/2009
this was a REALLY great forum, because I've been having the same issues angel- just the other day i was in the car with my aunt, uncle and grama and i felt like i was being attacked because they all were drilling it down my throat that, "no decent man is going to want you when i finds out what you're doing" and "it's a slippery slope you're on" and "first you started poling, now you're in a dance troupe, what next?" and blah blah blah. so i was kind of down and texted some friends and all three wrote back right away and made me feel better, but i kind of felt like nobody really understands. a lot of my classmates think im going to hell and think im a stripper or a whore. my one aunt doesn't talk to me anymore because of it all.....my mom made me feel better and said 'consider the source' and just be careful and selective on who you talk to about it. but it was really awesome reading what everyone had to say about it- thanks for making this post angel and thanks everybody for being so awesome and supportive on here!!!
ducky · 3/29/2009
Sascha, when I read your post I was surprised (to say the least) that some of your family members have judged (even condemned?) you for your interests. Most people that are judgemental over these issues don't have any important and esteeming hobbies of their own, and so the behavior puts them in the position to be "better than" other people.....why? they find other people who don't think and act like them threatening because they don't have that control that makes them feel comfortable. I personally think that the male species is more excepting of pole dance, because the guys are just happy to be around a confident and low maintenance female, unless they are the insecure control freaks that need to keep a concubine under their control. I don't share my pole adventures with anyone besides other people that are interested in poling, or someone who I feel is trustworthy, because people can be so negative. Keep in mind a lot of women find pole dancers (and even someone younger and prettier) very threatening because the husbands or boyfriends might show some interest in someone else (heaven forbid!!), and some women just recent the fact that someone else is doing something that makes them feel good about themselves. Life is so much more easier when we aren't dependent on other peoples opinions on how we should live. (btw, I'm not implying that you or anyone else is investing your value by what others think.....but I do think your a fun good person!!)
Caramel_Dlite · 3/29/2009
I'm asian and pole dancing is definately taboo for me as well. I'm selective about who I tell because sometimes there's just no way of changing someone's narrow mind. But you can't get too angry with them. There's a long history of erotic pole dancing, which is an image that is always being perpentrated in the media. Then there's the relatively new side of pole dancing for fitness, but you never see that in the media. So just do your best to fight against the stereotype and if it brings you down come to this forum for support! 🙂 Sascha... I'm surprised your family has react so badly to you pole dancing. I thought there are pictures on your profile of your grandma on your pole? How could she have a fun swing around the pole and then tell you how bad it is?! I still think your grandma's adorable though 😂
angelx33 · 3/29/2009
aww sascha i didnt know that either. thanks for sharing sweetie ::hugs:: always good to let off some of that steam to people who understand you best.. no problem i think this issue needs to be discussed and we need to find a solution for this issue. i too am careful about who i tell. only four people know so far, one of my closest friends shes my best friend and when she came over once we put it up and we messed around on it and we had good laughs. my mother, my boyfriend, and one of my brothers. but dont worry about what people say. i don't. i dont let them get to me and i dont let them change my views, because i make my own decisions and its not up to anybody else to tell me what is ok and what isnt. so just know were all here for you. everybodys support can build a freaking monument! haha i love you guys 😳
Former member · 3/29/2009
thanks guys!!! i definitely didn't mean to take the spotlight away from angel since this is her thread and stuff but i just wanted to put it out there too i guess. ducky, EVERYTHING you said in your post was exactly what my mom said to me!! you gave such good advice, thank you!! caramel- that's such good advice too, especially about being selective about who you tell. i definitely need to learn that lesson. i was confused about my grama too, and i asked my mom abotu it and she said that "people are hypocrites, family is no exception. grama likes to control and have power, but really she's the last one who should be talking". so that made me feel better. really the only person who supports it 100% in my family is my mom. dad and bro swung around my pole a few times but ultimately they think it's a phase im going through lol. angel your advice was wonderful too! i love how you said that all the support on this site could build a monument- it's so true! 🙂 i just love you guys!!!!
Buterflii · 3/30/2009
wow, i think this is the coolest group of girls i've ever come into usually girls scare me, because i'm more like a guy--straightforward and hate the judgements (btw, sorry if i say anything stupid about strippers vs erotic dancers, i'm new here and you can tell me) i LOVE dancing and a sexy dancer (not by choice, my body goes that way)--but more i just want some flexibility and strength playing around like a monkey 🙂 this is such a real topic, and my mom would say all that stuff too! luckily i'm older and 3 states away 🙂 *evil laugh* so they don't really have to know AND according to the Mayan calendar this year, and new age messages in general--we might have ourselves a sexual/freedom revolution this year--like the 60's and 70's all rolled up into one year. in the mayan calendar, its adolescence in a faster time frame. so--we may all have a greater chance to come out of our shells and be at least tolerated, if not accepted, instead of judged 🙂 the new age of freedom and joy is coming in the leo-aquarian age 🙂 pole on 🙂 ha lis
PoleJuli · 3/30/2009
In my case, it´s pretty difficult to tell people I´m practicing pole dance, because of a tv show that started a few years ago. There, sl***y girls from local tv series performe lot of dance types, including some sort of pole dance. They made a fireman and hook spin, and then rub their bodies against the pole and their dance partners. Luckily, mi dad is really happy because i´m doing exercise, and so is my boyfriend (but for other reasons, hehe). And all my girlfriends want me to teach them! But it takes some time before you can tell them proudly that you´re a pole dancer. (I´m sorry for the grammar mistakes 🌈 )
pole-twista · 3/31/2009
not me i dont give a flying leap what anyone thinks of what i do i say it loud and proud scream it from my roof if i could 😮 some people judge me but you know what? big deal if i walked around on eggshells about everything that could potentially offend or upset someone i would never leave the house i am not doing anything illegal and i am not hurting anyone (except occasionally myself) therefore you dont like it? looks like its too bad for you 😈 i really thought would have to do verbal battle w my mom shes so not the type to be like " oh thats great honey... your dancing on a pole ? great sweetie" at first it was a little tense, than we moved to the "dont tell / "dont ask stage, and now she is the 1 telling me not to give up on my dream to open a studio ❗ and you know what changed her mind? seeing this isnt a phase for me its a passion she sees me walking around bruised up but she also sees me totally come alive when i start talkin about teaching and owning a studio ☀️ she knows i have spent countless hours, at the sacrifice of much needed sleep between jobs, to study videos/books search for legal advice about starting classes ect she knows i am dedicated and take it serious she also knows i will not be swayed by others opinions / comments as i have said before i am a grown woman who is lucky enough to be living in a time when women are encouraged to embrace our sexuality and strength 👸 i am lucky enough to be living in a free country where i can express myself wether thats through painting, songs, or poling the way i see it is if you want to crusade against something make it something worth while theres plenty of things to get angry about a person on a vertical piece of metal seems like a pretty petty thing to be fretting about sorry as usual i have written a novel 📚 i am just very fired up in the mornings 🤸 all that am traffic gets me ripe for topics like this lol ok ladies i am very lucky to live where and when i do, but am also very very lucky to have such a warm, suppourting group of people in one place love ya guys!! 🌸 ☀️ 😀 🥂 👸 👑 🌸