Feeling very very discouraged...

Mechie started this discussion · 3/8/2016

My girlfriend and I went to a 3 day intensive pole "camp"...I thought this will be great experience for us both, to learn new things, to meet new people, new instructors and to encouraged each other... But both my girl friend and I came back feeling pretty discouraged... It was a group of 7 in the class.. 3 of us are intermediate (including me and my friend), 1 beginner and 3 advance. There were a couple of really good instructors there (2 to be exact)...but few of them were really mean...and only focus on the advance students and left the beginner and intermediate in the corner to collect dust. One instructor in particular pretty much told me I can't do a certain spin so don't even try...another instructor couldn't stop swearing at us through the entire class (point your f*cking toes...arch your f*cking back...straight your f*cking leg...etc.) I was pretty offended...but it was Day 1 so we didn't want to rock the boat... Instead of trying to help us to build up to a certain move, some of the instructor just show us one way to do the move...Ofcourse, seeing all the advance students nailed it on first or second try, us intermediates have no excuse and should be able to do it too right?? Well...at least that was the impression that was given... On our way back home, this is the first time I ever cried because of pole...feeling like I will never make it to advance...never be strong enough...never good enough... I understand even the top polers in the world were once beginners and intermediates...but I can't help but feel like I waste a significant amount of money on this trip and what I got at the end is discouragement and hopelessness... I feel like I'm at a turning point of my pole journey...I feel like quitting, but the same time I want to prove those so-call top instructors wrong...I'm not sure what I can do to improve though.... =(

17 replies

Danniacc47 · 3/8/2016
That is just awful. I mean even if you can't do something right now the instructors should tell you where to work to get the move eventually. I've told students in the past not to try a certain move or spin, not because I think they are stupid or untalented, but because there are some moves that if you try them without proper strength/flex/form you can injure yourself and I don't want that. In any case, that is no excuse to treat students badly. Instructors are there to support you, encourage you and help you build the abilities needed to accomplish something. Those idiots are no instructors and they shouldn't be teaching at all.
AllysonKendal · 3/8/2016
Ugh!!!! Bummer! I'm sorry you feel that way. Did your gf leave feeling the same way? It's frustrating to feel like you paid a lot to be discouraged! I don't have a lot of advise other than not to give up... Don't let someone else ruin something you love for you. I've left a few workshops feeling like this (and I've been to a few really great ones too!)... But more often then not I prefer to go to a teacher I know and like, and who knows me and my learning style (and Veena too!) Sure it can be good to learn from a lot of sources and pick up and absorb as much as you can... But sometimes it comes at a cost :/ I'm sorry. Big hugs!!! Curious if this was this the power intensive? 4th to the 6th? I was considering doing it (but it was expensive and I had a few things I had to do at home that I couldn't get out of) but I have to say, I'd probably be in the same boat as you!!! Plus I'm not a quick learner. I usually need to sleep on something before things click.
Mechie · 3/8/2016
Allyson - Yeah...my girlfriend felt the same way, but I got the harder hit cause 1 particular instructor, for whatever reason, picked on me...my gf saw it too but again, no one wants to rock the boat. The good thing is the 7 of us in the class got a long very well...it was purely the instructors demeanor that was discouraging. And yes...this is the power intensive...and it was pricey and you can't choose the instructors. Overall, the program is not bad...I would call it a mixed bag. There were a couple of really nice instructors...but the bad ones really kills whatever joy I have. I guess I'm still in the midst of trying to gain confidence so it was a hard hit.
AllysonKendal · 3/8/2016
Yeah. I completely get your frustrations. I've had a mixed bag when it comes to instructors there (and in general). It's really hard cause you aren't going to click with everyone. I've met some pole stars/instructors that are so humble and gracious and others that just shouldn't be teaching...but do it to be able to travel and pole. As far as the studio goes, it can be (and usually is) an absolutely wonderful place, but can discourage you for sure. There is a mentality there that can be draining... A lot of the people there have a ton of time to train, and go to multiple classes a week, and workshops and camps, and it can feel like "I'll never be good enough" for sure. And many times, not just there... But many places...the more advanced students get all the attention, or sometimes they know the instructors and it feels like you're intruding by being there.... Or the opposite feels like it's happening, like they are focusing and picking on you! Anyway. Big hugs. It's not just you. Pole can be frustrating and sometimes, because we love pole so much, when someone "ruins" it for us it leaves you feeling very vulnerable and wounded... 💕💕
Serzi · 3/8/2016
Reading this makes me want to slap those bitches. They do not deserve the title of "instructor" if the only students getting the moves are the ones who could already do it in the first place. A drill sergeant can yell all day and get bodies moving, but without TRAINING a soldier may hop a wall right into their own demise. This is an especially great disservice to you as a student paying no doubt a FUCK TON OF $ for this stupid pole camp. I'd raise Hell. I can't even imagine going through some shame fest and paying for all of it. What an awful experience. I hope you will receive some compensation, apology, or closure for having gone through this. Appears as though some of the "instructors" are there strictly to cash in, are not passionate about teaching, and cling to already advanced students in order to portray their successes in class as proof that the instruction methods are a success as a whole. Ick, it turns my stomach but people do actually do this. I am very sad and sorry that you had such a bad experience, it is NOT RIGHT.
Runemist34 · 3/9/2016
I'm so sorry that you went through this. I agree with Serzi- I would raise hell, ask for my money back, and an apology, a promise that they are going to evaluate their instructors less for their pole dance prowess, and more for their ability to instruct. Because they aren't dancing, they are instructing. As for your own emotions, feel free to take a step back, and rest. Make it a few days, a week or two, and find the thing that you love about pole again. Watch some videos that you love- heck, watch some videos of yourself and your growth, if you have them around. Your self-esteem sounds like it's taken a beating, and you are allowed to step back and lick your wounds a bit. You have them, and they need to be tended to. But, I hope you keep at your pole dancing afterward. Those people aren't invested in your journey, they aren't understanding your work, passion, or happiness. But, you do! And that's why you should keep at it.
kulotsalot · 3/9/2016
Haven't been to any pole intensive workshops, but I've been to a couple of salsa-related ones. One of the problems is that, to build name recognition, you become a really great salsa or pole performer, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're a great teacher! Some people can do the wildest tricks, but have zero teaching knowledge. It's a different skill set. Then, there is the problem of the organizers trying to draw in as many attendees as they can. This results in unclear or even no level requirements for a class. Because if they restrict to the appropriate level, they may turn away some people who are not ready for it. So better to attract as many people as possible and set up a difficult situation for an instructor (how to teach to a very varied group) as long as the organizers get their money. And of course there's the attitude of the instructors themselves. Some are the nicest, sweetest human beings, while some are so high on their own "stardom" that they forget the "low level" people attending their workshops are the ones paying for their time, airfare, and accommodation. I would get in touch with the organizers and provide feedback. You paid good money for this and didn't get the experience you wanted. It is also very much up to the organizers + instructors to set up level requirements per class! Personally, after a few rounds of going to some weekend intensives (again, this is for salsa and not pole), I came to understand which instructors fit with my learning style, weren't all about ego, and gave attention to their learners. I only attended those classes and not all offered. Finally, if you get to that point that you know which instructors are good, it might be more cost-effective to book privates with those ones, as opposed to doing the group class! Lessons tailored to your level, your goals, and you won't be stuck in a corner gathering dust while others have all the fun. Hopefully your next one will be a much better experience!
Mechie · 3/9/2016
Thanks Serzi and Runemist34 -- The studio did e-mail us to leave feedback and I purposely choose not leave leave feedback anonymously so they can reach out. But they didn't...or haven't. (I did leave a detail feedback on Yelp for those who are interested for future reference - send me private msg for name of studio if you're not sure which one) If you read their Yelp reviews, most of the 1-star review is on how they DO NOT refund money...I will be surprise if they even reach out to apologize...never mind a refund or compensation. The thing that really bothers me is when my friend and I sign up for the course, we specifically asked about qualification for attendees. We told them we are only intermediate, can do extended butterfly, shoulder mount, invert, hand spring...but we don't have flexibility to do any splits or strength to pull off multi aerial inverts or invert on a spin pole, and if that's what they want as pre-qualifications, they we won't sign up --- they assured us it's fine. I was shocked when they accepted a girl that's only been poling for 4 months. They clearly only care about cash flowing in and not quality... I doubt I'll be going to any more multi-instructors pole camp...I feel like you invest A LOT of money not knowing if you'll get your money's worth...or worst...paying for Shame-Fest like Serzi mentioned. For a studio as famous as this one in NYC...very very disappointed...
Serzi · 3/9/2016
Even if they do not refund your money, I highly advise contacting them directly to express your dissatisfaction. Don't be afraid of them, you are the consumer and have every right to receive compensation if you were not provided the service you paid for. While they may refuse, still, make it known to them how you were treated and that you feel like you were ripped off. I'm sure you aren't the only one who had a bad experience and I would also make that known to them. Bad reviews can hurt business in the future so I hope that temporary cash-in at the expense of your patronage was worth it to them. Once again, I'm sad you had this experience. Please understand that your pole skills are not what is being reflected, but rather lousy teaching and business management.
PinkPhoenix · 3/9/2016
I feel your pain! Some instructors like advanced because they feel like they get to teach the more fun and impressive stuff. I also wished that there were more instructors to teach beginner and intermediate or at least be able to teach all levels of certain tricks. Of course there are just some tricks that if you aren't advanced it's just best that you don't try it, but I feel that when people have little expos like that that they should have enough for every level to feel like they got a lot out of it. For some of the harder stuff it would have been great for them to give you guys some conditioning to do while she showed the advanced and then had you guys work on possible moves that could lead into that trick. As for the cursing that is just the persons personality, so you gotta take that worth a grain of salt. There was an instructor at my studio that was male and he wouldn't pay anyone else any attention unless you were cute, petite or already had particular tricks. It was rough. So people stopped going to his classes. What was the point? After a few days where his classes were being cancelled he got the hint. Don't raise hell, they won't give you your money back because you took the classes they technically fulfilled their end of the bargain; but they do owe you an apology though.Since you wrote a letter I'm hoping that they can pass that on to the instructors and hopefully they will switch up their teaching etiquette and style. I agree with Runemist34; take the time for yourself and remind yourself why you are amazing at what you do know how to do. All the other moves will come just keep practicing what you have learned and now you don't have that pressure to get it in a matter of time because everyone else in class are ready to move on. You know what I mean? The girl that poled for 4 months was she able to do anything? You can always do BBB or ripoffreport.com. Too much negative reviews can tank a business. You don't have to prove nothing to the instructors. You are great in your own right. I say stick with Veena and the instructors that you know and any other pole sites that you can learn from at your pace. I'm so sorry that you went through that. It takes a special person to teach and unfortunately those instructors just don't posses that attribute. Don't let it hinder you from going to other expos.
bformosa922163 · 3/10/2016
So sorry you had this experience. I know the feeling of discouragement. Not with pole dancing but with something else. A good instructor guides you through each movement and even gives an alternative move. When I was doing lyrical pole and I couldn't do a certain move, the teacher always gave me an alternative move to try. If you are paying for an experience, they should not stress over how you point your toes. Especially if you're not competing and just doing it for fun.. I have done a pole class where I've felt Dissapointed. Unfortunately it happens.
quesodillyo9696 · 3/12/2016
I'm sorry you had to experience that... I just started pole a few weeks ago and the instructor for my very first class was swearing the whole time because we were such annoying newbies/slow learners... if I didn't get a groupon deal for a block of classes I probably wouldn't have ever gone back (thankfully the studio has other instructors for level 1). Some people just shouldn't be instructors.
Runemist34 · 3/13/2016
No one should ever be swearing at you, or getting angry at you, because you learn the way you learn. You aren't "slow," just as no one else is. You aren't annoying because you're a newbie- that's the whole point of being new to something! To ask questions and to learn, to struggle and be bad at it! No one gets it their first go, no one is perfect at anything their first time. I'm sorry you had that experience. I would have been very upset.
emmasculator · 3/14/2016
That is just terrible! I am so very sorry you experienced such treatment. In a word its just foul. Some instructors don't seem to understand that the reason they exist is because of their pupils. Swearing at someone when they are attempting a move is completely unprofessional and uncalled for. Jeez. I understand why you didn't make a scene in the movement, because who wants to make an experience they already paid for even worse. I would contact the studio just to leave feedback and let them know directly. I think I have an idea of which studio you're talking about and if it is the one I am thinking of, they should definitely know better. It may be hard to teach, but its not hard to be gracious. So that half should AT LEAST have been there. And it wasn't. Seems as if they completely missed the mark. Shame shame. I've no patience for diva instructors who forget that is about the student and not them.
Mechie · 3/15/2016
Thanks ladies for all your comforting words... Just an update... It's been over a week since I left my direct feedback, there's been no reach out, no apology from any one in the studio in NYC...nada. --- As Cantetinza17 mentioned, I don't expect a refund or compensation, but I am surprised that they never even reach out to apologize. I hope more people can read my Yelp review and get a sense on what's it like to do any sort of "Pole Camp" or intensive course in that studio. They are just too money focus and sacrifice quality of the course. The girl that pole for 4 months...I don't think she even got 25% of what they were teaching. She was standing in the corner more than half the time. Perhaps the girl felt like she put herself in that situation because it's an "Intensive Power Course"...but still, it is the studio's responsibility to inform the student on what are the prerequisite. --- quesodillyo9696 - Sorry about your experience...I feel you. I found it very very unprofessional for the instructor to use vulgar language during class. Unfortunately some people just cannot put a full sentence together without swearing. It's sad. Well...I have to say, I'm very happy to have a haven like studioveena and the ladies in my pole studio are all so positive and supporting. Apparently quite a few of them had similar experience as mine from the exact same Studio in NYC. It's just sad that some people feel the need to put others down to make themselves look good.
Cherished · 3/16/2016
Hi Mechie, Thanks for sharing your experience. I appreciate your Yelp review. When I take a lesson from a well known poler it will only be through a recommendation. I will be avoiding instructors that don't show regard for students. I hope you keep going forward with your pole journey :)
dalenerusso5556 · 3/16/2016
You have to appreciate the Pole community :-) I had some good instructors with talent. One talks like a Sailor complete with sex toy stories. I took several months off from pole to try to get stronger with Barre. That was a big mistake as Barre muscles got stronger, but my pole skills tanked. Now I am hopeful having found Veena and this community. It kind of sucks to be almost 52 just getting started with pole. I'll keep at it as should you. Just chalk this up to experience. Don't let people get you down and if you do don't let people keep you down. Focus on what you can do and be grateful. I'm sure plenty would be envious.